Dear life-givers and creators,
I am writing today with the intention of offering you rituals and practical ideas that you can integrate in your healing journey. Whether you are healing from sexual assault, gynecological exams, traumatic physiological issues in your reproductive system or a combination of these, ritual can be added elements to your healing journey.
Rituals are helpful in providing essential containment for intense and often unbearable emotions. Rituals can be done alone, or with folks you are drawn to sharing with. They can be planned or not and can be done all together or in bits, as feels manageable. They can and may need to be repeated. They should involve the body in some ways, whether through touch, movement, or sensory delight.
Here are some ideas. Have a look through. Perhaps one or two stick out to you. If they do, see if there are any additional details that come to mind that would make it your own.
Please be mindful that some of these may be triggering. If this is the case, do not do them. Trust your own boundaries. Go slow. Only do what feels comfortable and inviting. If all of these are triggering, that is okay. Perhaps looking for support to help you on your trauma healing path will be helpful. No matter what, do not force something that does not feel right because then you are reproducing the trauma.
Physical practices (These may not be accessible to you. Skip this category if you feel uncomfortable):
1) Heat around the genitals: a warm compress, magic bag, pelvic steam (please work with a professional if considering this).
2) Genital Cupping: This is simply about putting one or two hands on your genitals and feeling what comes up. Some emotional support in whatever form (music, a loved one, ancestors, deities, a pet, a stuffed animal) may be helpful here. Healing words and affirmations can be helpful here as well (see point 10).
3) Healing genital touch: When you are ready, this can be done extremely slowly and mindfully. I personally like to add healing words here (See point 10). The intention here is not to have an orgasm but to actually connect with the tissues and the impact the trauma had on them while also making them feel some pleasure or comfort.
4) Womb wrapping: After having my second baby, I had horrible after pains, and wrapping a long scarf or a baby carrier around my hips all the way to my waist felt so protective and containing.
5) Roses: Smelling, touching and looking at them can be helpful. Roses are known for their beauty and tenderness but they have sharp thorns to assert their boundaries. Just bringing more into your life with the intention of healing your trauma can be helpful.
6) Art: I love clay work as you work directly with your hands. Put music on and just grab whatever medium you feel called to and just do whatever without being too cerebral about it. Just have the intention of healing the trauma, and whatever comes will be helpful.
7) Voice: Use your voice to say what you wish you would have said during the traumatic incident. Add movement to it, sort of like playing pretend. It can be so helpful to re-enact in this way if you are feeling safe and resourced.
8) If the vagina is accessible to you, exploring different sex toy mediums could be healing. I like the obsidian wand below because of the symbols attached to this dark stone. It feels protective and healing. What colours, textures, substances feel healing to you?
9) Have a ceremony around the event. Use symbols and supports that make sense to you (deities, colours, fruits, foods, adornments...etc). Put them together into a meaningful ceremony. Remember to reflect on the clear intention behind the ceremony.
- Cutting your hair by the ocean and letting the old hair flow away into the depths.
- Stating what you are letting go of each time you remove a rose petal from a rose.
- Writing the story and then using fire to burn it.
-Getting a tattoo.
10) Spells, incantations, affirmations.
Here is one of mine, but I encourage you to write your own. They need to come from you. My intention was to honour the violation while creating a protective barrier with my words. Your intention will probably be different based on where you are in your journey.
Speaking to the reproductive tissue:
''You are yours and you are mine,
No other shall leave their grime,
Only those with humble hands,
Will dare to touch my inner lands.
Only those with reverent eyes,
Will gaze upon this sacred space.''